Childhood Death . . .

Death in the world of childhood is in Chapter 10, Death, Society, and Human Experience. Kastenbaum again, bringing me to a new level of exploration. Here I was prompted to think about my experiences with death from my childhood. Death was treated in my home as something that avoided details. I remember asking more questions about my dog’s death because my father did not really give me satisfying answers. When I asked my father, “How did he die?” My father’s response was, “I do not know.” It seemed like the uncomfortable answers were always answered with “I do not know” responses. As a child, that made me want to know even more. So, I would ask my older brothers who had no trouble telling me exactly what happened. My dog had died from old age. When my brother woke up one morning, my dog was on the kitchen floor, cold and not breathing. When my brother went over to pet him, he was “stiff.” My brother got my father and they buried my dog in the backyard. A big mound of dirt with a flower on top is where my dog “left to go to heaven.” My parents were not comfortable telling me the truth about death until I was older. They would tell me some aspects of death but would be vague with the true details.
I remember when my grandmother passed away. I remember my mother crying for days. She could not eat or sleep. It was a very sad time for our entire family. My grandmother suddenly passed away at age 63. After the shock of her mother’s death, my mother slowly began to resume her own life. I remember feeling happy that my mother’s eyes were no longer swollen. I felt happy again too. I just wanted to be a child again; however, in the weeks to come, I realized that my grandmother was not coming back. The next holiday came two months after her death. Thanksgiving was terrible. My grandmother was not there and my family was sad again. I remember feeling like my life would never be the same. Death was permanent. I wish my parents would have given me that information earlier in life. It took a year of each holiday and each birthday without my grandmother there for me to figure that out.
I think death is a subject that should be treated on a case-by-case basis with children. As a parent, I will not avoid the death conversation with my children. I will try to answer the question honestly and calmly. Kastenbaum lists the stages of death comprehension in childhood in a table on page 324. Stage 1 age range is from 3 – 5 years and the interpretation of death is like a separation. Stage 2 age range is from 5 – 9 years and these children realize death is final. And Stage 3 the age range is from 9 years – adult and death is personal, universal, final, and inevitable. I agree with these stages, ages, and interpretations of death.

Euthanasia

Euthanasia, assisted death, abortion, and the right to die are discussed in Chapter 9, Death, Society, and Human Experience. Kastenbaum explores these topics like no other person! I know I have used these terms in many conversations; however, I cannot remember ever looking up the literal translation or the specific definition. It may have been my parents or older brothers that explained their own meaning of such words to me when I was a child. Let’s take euthanasia for example. The literal translation of the term euthanasia would be good or happy (eu) death (thanasia) (275). Many people do not think of “good” when speaking about euthanasia. It is more accurate to think about the original meaning of euthanasia as dying without suffering or pain. Today, the term retains something of its original meaning: a peaceful, painless exit from life. However, it also has taken on another definition: the intentional foreshortening of a person’s life to spare that person from further suffering (275).
Here are two main forms of euthanasia to think about: active euthanasia and passive euthanasia. Active euthanasia relates to actions that are intended to end the life of a patient (or animal) who is suffering and really has no chance of recovering. An example of active euthanasia is a lethal injection to a patient. Passive euthanasia, on the other hand, applies when intentional withholding of a treatment is done and that treatment may have prolonged the patients life. Not placing a person on life-support after a trauma would be one example of passive euthanasia.
The information found here is just amazing. This chapter discusses issues that we face everyday but we do not really know all that much about. For instance, the role of a nurse in euthanasia or assisted death. Most nurses are not given the attention that they deserve in such cases. Think about a family who confides their true feelings about their loved one in a hospital bed quite openly with a nurse. It is the physician, not the nurse, who takes on the medical decision-making responsibilities for patients. Remember, it was the nurse and not the physician who heard the families’ true wishes regarding this patient. It seems obvious that the nurse may spend more time with the family, but does the physician really know what the nurse was told? This scenario may have happened to someone in your family and you did not even know it. This example made me think about my experiences in the hospital setting. I, too, have spoken openly with nurses but found myself limited in conversation when the physician enters the room. The physician would come in, speak about my family member, flip through the paperwork making a few notes, and then leaving to see the patient in the next room. It is all too familiar for me. I feel like I have found a new approach for the next time.